Melisa's Advise to Other Mentors
In preparation for receiving her ten-year mentoring award, Melisa Cunningham prepared a speech. She spoke these words both eloquently and from the heart, to other Great Life mentors. It was an encouragement to us all. That was a year ago. We’re sharing them now in honor of her eleventh mentoring anniversary!
“When I first began with Great Life Mentoring in 2008, there were two mottos that I remember. One had to do with the shelf life of a Twinkie and long-lasting friendships, and the second was less of a metaphor. ‘The life you change may be your own.’ And I am here to tell you how true that sentiment is. My friend has made my life better.
One of the most profound things about volunteering for a decade is being able to see the evidence behind the program’s training first hand. We're trained to be friends with these kids, and nothing more. I didn't have a deep connection with my friend from the beginning, or even the relationship that I expected. I wanted to help her right away; I wanted to see results. I remember asking the Program Specialist, ‘after my year is up, can I get a new one?’ But that's not what this is about. This is about consistency, time and commitment. These critical ingredients are what makes the recipe work. And this is what makes the difference.
These kids often see counselors and teachers come and go, but a Great Life Mentoring friendship is something they can rely on. It's something they can trust. A great part I learned in training is that I don't have to be anything but myself for her. I don't have to put on the hat of a teacher, or therapist, or parent. All I need to do is be authentically me, and let her be authentically her.
Having a relationship with my friend for ten years has increased my moral compass. Before I do something—or post something on social media—I think to myself, ‘what would my friend think about this?’ ‘Is it something I want my friend to do?’ And I wonder now, as she approaches adulthood, perhaps she has the same thoughts as she is faced with decisions. ‘Is this something Melisa would do?’ She unknowingly makes me want to be a better person.
My friend has made me grateful for things I once took for granted: graduating from high school, owning a car, going to college, owning a home, having a career. Although I'm grateful for all of these things, I'm even more grateful that my friend now sees these things are all within her reach as well.
Our friendship now has less to do with my role as a mentor or even our involvement with the program. Instead, we're just friends. Simply friends. We have inside jokes, nicknames and traditions. We will cry together, laugh together, and we plan to grow old being friends.
My hope is that you all get to experience the same thing with your friend. Thank you for making a meaningful difference in your friends life. Whether or not you see it now, I promise, in ten
years, you will.”
Happy eleventh mentoring anniversary to Melisa and her Great Life Mentoring friend!
If you’d like to take Melisa’s advise and see if The Life You Change May Be Your Own, contact Great Life Mentoring and we’ll find you a friend!