Traveling the Road to Success
She was being arrested and booked for theft, alongside her mother, when Mia knew her life was at a crossroads. She wasn't even a teenager yet, but it was time to start thinking like a responsible adult.
Mia had a history of neglect and trauma, which kept her in and out of foster care. And now she was facing time in Juvenile Justice. She was a heavily system-involved child. That was the story of her ongoing life.
A short time later, she continued to struggle with a loss of hope and a lot of anxiety. She lost three different mental health therapists and felt like giving up on people in general. In her experience, they could not be trusted. The only people she felt were on her side were the friends from school, who she now drank and smoked with. But her current therapist encouraged her to try Great Life Mentoring.
This organization, the therapist told Mia, would give her someone who could support her success in school and help her cope with the anxiety related to her biological family. These triggers—the thought of not graduating from school and what might happen is she were sent back to her parent—were too much for Mia to face alone. She agreed to have a mentor.
Ruth had been trained as a Great Life mentor and was ready to help. When she heard about Mia, she said her first thought was, “this girl needs someone to really be there for her, and I’ll be that someone.”
There were times in their relationship, early on, when Mia would pull away. Once she spent weeks choosing to not see Ruth, but not saying why. It was in those times that Ruth waited patiently. She sent cards and remained faithful to offer an outing every week. She was mature enough to know this rejection was not personal and her friend must be really facing a lot.
After this time of absence that Ruth refers to as a “speed bump,” they got together again. Mia expressed that she had missed Ruth. Her anxiety had “prevented her from living her life.” But she was starting to see that Ruth could be trusted, and she wanted to try again.
Week after week, Ruth and Mia did fun things together that allowed Mia the chance to be a kid, and they had some long talks, too. Ruth didn’t provide advice, but she empowered Mia to do her own thinking. Ruth was able to listen deeply, without judgment, and she believed the best in her friend. They said that through all of their talks, it was Mia doing the talking, and she decided for herself that she was going to do an out-patient drug treatment program.
Following treatment, she stayed sober and started to believe that she could apply herself to school. She was willing to do the extra work and classes needed to graduate, because she started to believe she could do it. She began to enjoy classes and feel better about herself and her future.
When Ruth asked Mia, “what can I do to support you in all of this?” Her reply was, “you’re already doing it by showing up and being with me.” Ruth was the only adult not paid to be in Mia’s life and the only one who stuck around; this made a deep impact.
The more Mia experienced success in her life, the better she felt. But the anxiety regarding her family was still hard and very real for Mia. That is not a quick-fix. It’s something she will continue to manage long term.
When Mia was at the crossroad, she began making wise choices and continued, slow and steady, in that direction. Years later, she has graduated from high school (on time) and holds a steady job. She has coping strategies that work for her.
Mia says that “living with boundaries is helping with the anxiety.” She has remained sober. She enjoys a healthy diet and is growing into her best self. Mia enjoys reading and has a cat she adores. She believes in herself and the power of honest, healthy relationships.
Contact Great Life Mentoring to Volunteer in Portland Oregon or Volunteer in Vancouver Washington and enrich the life of a child facing adversity. Accepting new mentors now!